HOME TOUR

Perhaps it started with some baby dolls, or a few hundred Barbies. As long as I can remember, the desire to be a momma has just existed as a facet of me. I recently had a flashback to those long ago days of circling all the baby necessities in the Bitty Baby section of my American Girl magazine as I stood exhausted and overwhelmed in the bottle aisle of Buy Buy Baby, fulfilling my real life baby registry. It seemed much easier in those days, but then again, my Bitty Baby came with her perfect bottle, I didn’t have to decide on wide nipple bottles vs standard flow. When did the journey to mommahood get so complicated? I guess the whole darn thing has been complicated.

Our desire to be parents has always existed.  I remember the day after my wedding, my sweet new husband asking, “so when do you want kids.” And my response, “Um someday you weirdo, we just got married.” Who would have ever thought it’d take two years after finally getting to that point of being ready and LOTS of medical intervention to realize that sweet shared dream of ours.

We found out I was finally pregnant July 3, 2013, the day before the 4th of July. I was in California with my sweet momma, helping out as best I could after finding out she had been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Not the ideal time in life but perfect according to the good Lord’s timing…a positive pregnancy test to bolster all of our spirits, breathing hope into our days and allowing dreams to start flowing…boy vs girl, colors for a nursery, could it be twins!

All sorts of fun things to think and dream about. The pregnancy cravings started early with the strong desire for all sorts of salty items…mainly ranch dressing and Caesar salad. Of all the things for a clinical dietitian to want to eat…I could have literally squeezed a bottle of ranch dressing in my mouth and been a very happy camper. We tried every old wives tale in the book, all pointing at a little baby boy, which made me a bit mad, I was clearly having a girl. All those old wives had it wrong. We eagerly waited to see the progression of food items my little baby embodied in those early weeks…a poppyseed to a grain of rice to a blueberry. It was carefree and beautiful, how I’d pictured the journey to mommy-hood being. And then it all changed, in the blink of an eye.